Becoming Who I Am


When we moved into this house in 2005, the landscaping was absent of flowers.  We've slowly added color over the years.  I will on occasion buy a plant and my husband picks where to plant it.  We are perennial plant lovers.  Walking around and seeing my garden through the camera lens gave me a sense of peace and calmness, time was suspended.


I wish I had a jar that could bottle up that peace and I could release it's powerful effect when I am borrowing worries and troubles.  Since that is impossible, I find when I am calm, happy and stressfree, I will document those days through my camera or in my journal.  They are treasured days in my mind.


I was also contemplating how whenever I am rushing off to get errands completed or chores done, I miss the everyday beauty in nature.  Why is it with a camera and a few minutes, I am refocused and I see what is there every single day but in a different light and angle?  I walk by these plants daily taking them for granted.


A new rhythm to my days will be starting next week.  School begins and my house will be quiet once again.  I do have plans-knitting plans, writing plans and photography plans.  I've found that with an empty nest comes rediscovery.  New hobbies started, old hobbies revisited, I will always be a mom and that devotion will never end but it's nice when they are off becoming who they are so I can become who I am.


On a side note and completely unrelated, I bought my very first jean jacket.  I was thinking I might be too old and then I thought  "well I'm only going to get older", and threw caution to the wind.  I think all those shawls and scarfs and mitts that I create are going to look fabulous with it.  I'm kind of excited :) Hurry up fall, I've got a new look to sport!


What brings you joy?  What causes you to stop and drink in the peacefulness that the day offers?

Have a great weekend :)

Comments

  1. Oh, this post touched me!
    I love how my camera makes me see in new ways. It has an amazing way of making the ordinary extraordinary.
    I have always thought knitting and jean go great together! Right on for sporting a new jean jacket. Never out of style at any age!

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  2. I too love walking around, camera in hand. The subtle shift of perspective can make such a difference, and sometimes it's all I need to reset my outlook on blah days. I'll also sometimes just grab a cup of tea or coffee and sit and stare at the yard/house/whatever and soak in the little things that make my world my world.

    I went to a clothing swap last weekend and it was awesome- I unloaded a bunch of my tshirts and such, and picked up some more "tailored" things..... a few 1940s button down lacy shirts, my first jean skirt since elementary school, a dress, a jacket...... sometimes the wardrobe shifting can be pretty powerful stuff, too huh? enjoy your lovely flowers and the change of seasons!

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  3. Oh Karen- great post- lovely and inspiring words today. I think we all feel this on some level. I find now that I am "older" I am happier- because I am wiser- take better care of my self and really don't give hoot for the most what "I think" others might think of my age.
    You sure have a lovely flower garden and I am looking forward to fall too.
    Go you! - with the jean jacket!!!

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  4. I don't believe in "dressing your age". What does that mean? I'm going to dress comfortably, but I'm going to "rock" whatever style that is. I love jeans jackets draped with shawls! Go grrl, it's a good look!

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  5. I am so glad you are finding who you are and enjoying life. Your garden is beautiful and I think there is something in nature that just touches the soul. It's wonderful that you bought a jean jacket. Dress how you are comfortable and happy!
    Enjoy the weekend.

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  6. i recently wondered if maybe i was getting too old for skinny jeans. then i got over myself and bought a new pair which will look fantastic with my jean jacket ;-) glad you bought one. i say dress how you wish and be comfortable!

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  7. Karen a lovely post! I look forward to seeing more photos of your garden and your new look with your jean jacket - Go girl
    Love Leanne

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  8. Your garden looks so tranquil.

    It's good to have the freedom to be who you want to be ... enjoy!

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  9. I find I am actually embracing this new phase of life, "empty nest". Even though Nicole isn't going away to college, between working full time and taking classes full time she will hardly be around. I thought it would be lonely but I am constantly finding things to do. And loving it!

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  10. I bought my first jean jacket with my first-ever real paycheck when I was 13. I still have it. I could actually get away with wearing it size-wise (I must have bought it to be a little big when I was 13?) but it's so faded it's white, and I like blue denim better. ;) Enjoy your new jacket! I think it will look great with knit scarves and perhaps it's time for me to get a new one myself!

    And if there is such a thing as dressing one's age, I'm sure I don't, either, but I dress the way I feel. And I love your landscaping. I can't grow green things at all, so I just let the wild things flourish where they are.

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  11. A lovely post and great photos. I find a lot of peace and inspiration in the garden.

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  12. 'New hobbies started, old hobbies revisited, I will always be a mom and that devotion will never end but it's nice when they are off becoming who they are so I can become who I am.'

    I love that you said this! Right now, I am at that stage of motherhood where I hardly know/see who *I* am due to lack of time or energy. Toddlerhood sure is...challenging...but fun too :)

    Thank you for another beautiful post! Oh yes - ENJOY your jean jacket! Yay! It will definitely look fab with your knits – look forward to seeing you sporting it :)

    Happy weekend!

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  13. Oh Karen, a beautiful post. I love how having my camera in hand totally changes my pace and perspective.

    You go girl on the jean jacket, can't wait to see you wearing it with all of your lovely hand knits.

    Happy weekend.

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  14. Karen this was a wonderful post! I can truly relate to how you feel about your garden, I feel that way about ours as well. I LOVE that you bought yourself the jacket! Age is just a number and who's to tell you what you can and cannot enjoy/wear? Our girls will be home for several more years and I'm very happy about that. They are getting older which allows us a bit more freedom, and a glimpse into what our future with them living on their own may look like. :-)

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  15. We've been cleaning and organizing around here. While I haven't gotten to the coat closet yet as soon as you said jean jacket I thought to myself "i am totally keeping that jean jacket and accessorizing it". Thanks for the inspiration!!

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  16. karen you are so sweet and are going to look darling in your jean jacket, especially with your beautiful knits! i feel the same way about my camera and nature, although i still work outside the home and can't wait till i don't anymore! but not having as much time, means the time i do have, has to count :)

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  17. "I will always be a mom and that devotion will never end but it's nice when they are off becoming who they are so I can become who I am."

    Wow. Thank you for that. My littlest one starts Kindergarten in two days. For the first time in 7+ years, I will not have a "baby" home with me. Part of me feels like I should feel sad or something. But the truth is, I don't. I feel excited for her and for me, too. If we don't continue on with the phases of life, then we are suffering. I never wanted to be one of those moms who always missed when their kids were little. Appreciating that time, fondly remembering, YES. But to "miss" it is to not truly be 100 % present with who the child currently is, no matter what age.
    That is my hope anyway. And I'm not saying I won't miss their littleness...I just plan to be present.
    XO

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  18. What a lovely yard you have! I enjoy nature too - hiking and just walking - even around the neighborhood. Jean jackets are great! You will look so cute and chic in it - and a great knitted scarf will be the perfect accessory! Enjoy your weekend. Thanks for this post!

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  19. I agree with you about the plants bringing a sense of peace, and if you get good photos, that's even better. I am an empty nester because my children are grown. I've learned to become myself because I'm alone a lot of the time. It's very refreshing to discover our own talents. We need things in our lives that are not dependent on other people...just ourselves.

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  20. the jean jacket will be amazing on you!
    I also find that just bringing my camera outside makes me slow down, look at things differently, and appreciate what is around me in a whole new way. Honestly, I think that is a big part of the reason that I love taking pictures.

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  21. Jean jacket. yes! I agree, we are only going to get older, and is that a bad thing? 50 is just two months ahead of me, and it at times pokes at me in a not so nice sort of way, but then I painted my toenails green for the summer and decided to embrace it. No more poking. :) My gardens? Oh, how I love my gardens. In fact, the night before we left in early July for our 3-week trip, I walked through my gardens and cried. Why? I knew how much glory I was going to miss while I was away. Couldn't wait to get home to see them (and that new grandbaby, of course). Glad you are embracing the new phase and the new opportunities! Blessings, Lisa :)

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  22. I can see how that beautiful would create peace within you. The best part is that you recognize the need to center and are aware how to do it.
    For me joy can often be found in my knitting. Even if it is only one stitch, it helps me to think and reflect.

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  23. i find everything looks different through the eye of the camera.....I've been able to 'adjust' some funky decorating boo-bahs, too ,by just taking a photo of a room----I think taking the 3-dimensional to 2-D makes you really LOOK and not just see-in-passing!!! Isn't it part of the old....being in the present thing??? I find that SOSOOO hard to do. I'm a daydreamer....
    and your post has me dreaming....about that old jeans jacket that has been hanging in my cupboard for YEARS. Yep---it will look great with some of those knits (even though I'm considerably older than you....I (and my jacket!) are only going to get older. It's coming out of the closet!!!!!)
    hugs!

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  24. Glad you went for it with the jean jacket! It's wonderful to be on that road of re discovery.

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  25. Love this post - and I'm so happy you got that jean jacket! Can't wait to see all of the wardrobe combinations you create with it!! :) I've missed visiting this space...I hope to be around a little more frequently now! :)

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  26. I feel so lucky to have stumbled upon your blog! Your thoughts on your quiet empty nest are ones I may magnet to my refrigerator for the reminder I will need with one of my sons recently moved 1700 miles away and the other becoming who he is in college. I'm also thinking a jeans jacket might be perfect to wear with the Hitchhikers I've been knitting this summer. Thanks so much for a terrific post that really spoke to me!

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  27. I am beginning to experience the empty nest (my daughter goes to community college now and will attend college and live in a dorm next year) and you've described it so beautifully in this post. It is an exciting time for her -- I love to see her spreading her wings -- and for my husband and I too, as we find time to relax and enjoy each other's company again. Rock that jean jacket! I have a long sleeve and 3/4 sleeve and love them both. Watch it... you might get the fever and pick up and army jacket next!

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  28. Karen, you are such a beautiful writer. I love how you notice all the lovely things around you, and I know I've said this before, but I always feel like coming to your blog is like going on a little retreat. I love your perspective on motherhood--of course, we haven't started a family yet, but now I am looking forward to the days when we can enjoy our children as adults as well as the days when we'll chase them in diapers;) Hurray for the jean jacket! I have one I bought years ago, but haven't worn in a long time. It's got good bones, and I just started wearing it again recently. I am so glad I didn't get rid of it!

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  29. I think this is my all time favorite post. I've been back to read several times. Simply wonderful. :)

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  30. P.S. I know you will rock that jean jacket!

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