My attention has felt fractured these days. Whenever I have family visiting, the rhythm changes and my focus is shifted to lots of talking, being together and well enjoying the moment. I like that a lot. However, my daily life is chopped up into little bits. I don't know how I got anything done when the kids were small and I was a full time mom.. but I did.
Now I feel proud when the dishes are done and the kitchen is closed for the day, I will not tell you about the ever growing pile of my son's books on the kitchen island that I'm gracefully ignoring. Usually that pile is on the coffee table. Don't worry the coffee table has a bit of a mess going on and I'm gracefully turning a blind eye to that as well.
Okay, back to fractured attention...I wonder about the time and attention I put into this blog and on instagram. I love both but when life is busy, I cut back on reading blogs and writing posts. My standards are minimized and 'thin'. This makes me feel like I'm not 100% present. Don't worry! I will be blogging for a long time to come. I notice these behaviors and reflect on them.
Writing here is a way for me to sort my thoughts. A blog is first and foremost a diary of my musings and since I was a little girl I had something to say, always talking talking talking. I try my best to remember that! Why do I pressure myself with how much content or how much writing or how much cohesiveness a post is? Really there are no rules.
Being in the moment also means to be kind to myself when life is busy and readjust my expectations. It's okay to be fractured in my thoughts, in my writings and reevaluating the value of my time spent. I find snippets of time to read a blog post or quickly flick through the instagram stream. I know that this busy feeling is a finite time. I know in a mere six weeks a shift in my rhythm will change again. I have soothing thoughts of when the summer slows down and my days will be open wide, quiet and more focused on me.
Yesterday I scheduled (yes scheduled and made it a priority) to take the camera out and walk around with Frodo in the hot and humid weather. I ignored the heat and focused on the beauty around me. That mere 15 minute jaunt exploded with creativity and a renewed sense of purpose and hence this post. 15 minutes is a tiny amount of time invested that yielded a sense of peace, purpose and focus. I need to remember that!
I know all of you are fractured in your attention in some way. A few of you have: kids home for the summer, selling and buying houses, downsizing, caring for aged parents, family drama that is draining, canning and preserving the summer harvest, baseball games, vacations, camping adventures, health challenges....oh the list is long and extensive isn't it?
I like knowing I'm in company to a community of people who are balancing life with creative pursuits.