Yesterday was 20 years since my mother passed away. I like that this remarkable day is also the Feast day of Saint Francis of Assisi. Twenty years have flown by, twenty years I've lived without her here on earth.
I'm tethered to her memory through my sister, my dad and my aunt. I clearly remember thinking how I could not imagine life without her presence. She was my go to person to ask for advice, not that I agreed with her or adopted her advice. Yet, twenty years have been successful living. Sometimes I get jealous of people who have moms. But then I know people who are only children and are jealous that I have a sister.
My mom was creative, smart but introverted. She was not a risk taker and preferred making surefire safe decisions. She was also stubborn and opinionated, both qualities I share with her at times when I truly believe I am in the right (I frequently am).
Some people work on saying 'no' to others because they always agree and need to set boundaries. I have to push myself to say 'yes' to others because I tend to like safety and familiarity just like my mother.
She was a devout Catholic and the only person who truly knew or understood her was God.
Yesterday, I wanted to make the day special and I dreamed up all sorts of ideas of how to make it special. Not one of my ideas came to fruition.
I ended up going to the gym in the morning, then working an extra two hours babysitting - surprising the toddler with a walk to see the cows. The walk TO the cows was fun, it was all down hill, the walk back was up hill. Pushing a toddler in a big stroller up a hill is not fun at all.
I spent two hours outwitting a two year old, gleefully celebrating when I thought I won.
I went for a hair cut, I soaked in the praises from my hairdresser at how long my bangs are getting. They are not long enough for me so I pin them back every day at some point. Growing out bangs will be a year long event.
I came home and dug in the freezer for some left over curry and threw together a dinner.
|my mom stitched this|
|he gave a little growl for this shot|
Yesterday was a perfect day in remembrance of my mom. I lived life. I moved my body to make it healthy and strong (a hill!), I sang toddler songs and enjoyed seeing the world through toddler eyes, I sat and knit which is what my mom did when she was done with her dinner.
The best part of yesterday was my sister calling me and asking what I did special for the day. She shopped at JoAnn Fabrics in remembrance. I do love my sister.